Can you “pick up vibes”? How well can you “read” situations or people? Can you rely on your intuition? How strong is your “vibe-meter”?
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Intuition. What’s to Admire?
Are you one of those rare people we admire for their incredible ability to talk to anyone effortlessly and easily to “win their confidence”? You know, to pick up the weakest of “vibes”, explore your “hunch”and more often than not to “be on the pulse”?
Are you wondering how they make it look so easy? They seem to create the right climate and the strongest of rapport so quickly. Able to “connect” with them. Like a magnet attracting others to them. Able to “tune-in” almost instantaneously, right? With great Empathy and sensitivity; never confronting or creating discomfort.
Are such diplomatic, non threatening, charming, yet nonetheless assertive “soft skills” making such “attractive personalities” born or made? I believe this is learnable, so you too can elegantly and effectively support, encourage, lead and “win people over” to the right outcomes, while using your intuition to “get to the bottom” of what really matters to them.
Intuition. What’s Happening “Under The Covers”?
Australian author and speaker Alan Pease, suggests that in the first 2 to 3 minutes of meeting a new person, both people are unconsciously “sizing the other up”. By the time they have walked from Reception to their meeting destination, both will have answered 3 basic questions in their unconscious mind:
- Do I think I like this person?
- Do I think I could trust them?
- Do I think I could work or do business with them?
By the time their meeting starts, both will have conclusively answered those questions to sufficiently influence their position towards the other, neither being consciously aware of having done so. Yet this will almost definitely influence the outcome of their conversation.
Hence the term “vibe-meter”. Why? Because we can learn to tap into that degree of unconscious Awareness, allowing the recognition of such “vibes” and enabling a degree of rapport most of us are blissfully unaware of. Rapport is the state of trust and responsiveness between us. It is felt and can also be developed and strengthened. And used to influence. Provided we develop the required awareness of the vibes around us and allow our intuition to feature.
Intuition. What Does That Mean?
I have seen intuition defined as: a phenomenon of the mind, describing the ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason or also described as: how the mind can “see” answers to problems or decisions in the absence of explicit reasoning – a “gut reaction“.
In “Goosebumps“, I refer to a bodily response to an inner feeling that has “externally” identifiable manifestations. A physical message coming from deep within our internals, telling us that something of significance is, has just or is about to happen with, around or for us. I also refer to it as a signpost from our intuition.
Intuition. So How Do We Use It?
Everyone will have experienced the use of intuition. That is to have made a judgement or a decision without really having conclusive evidence available to justify or confirm it, right?
So what I’m advocating is to develop an awareness of such intuition or “vibes” to very elegantly utilize to enhance our degree of connection with others (Are You Really Connecting?“). How?
By taking eyes off ourselves and rather than talking, instead focusing on asking good questions that get the other person(s) talking about their “What’s In It For Me” and then listening like nobody else existed. Why?
So we can listen to what’s being said, what isn’t, and most importantly HOW it’s being said. Enabling that uncommon degree of awareness and observation through which we can notice communication and behaviour styles and patterns to match and mirror. To notice hidden messages in their non-verbal communication from which our intuition can pick up “vibes” or “hunches” that we can explore.
Intuition. So What?
You see, this isn’t supernatural stuff or rocket science. It is always around us. Our superficial, fast pace way of life and work these days simply gets in the way of this level of listening and awareness. Everyone is time poor. We talk instead of listening. We listen to respond. We’ve forgotten how to listen to understand.
Hence we miss most of the non-verbal cue’s that help us sense what’s going on in the other person. We miss so many opportunities to connect at this extraordinary “unconscious mind” level of interaction and influence.
Communicating with all our senses. So we can know when to push through with “Chutzpah” and achieve uncommon breakthroughs more often than not. How? “The harder we practice, the luckier we get“.
Heiner Karst says
Thanx Filiz, for your kind support. Love hearing any form of feedback. Please feel free to comment on the content also, so others can agree or disagree, OK? Best wishes Heiner
Filiz Tigli says
I love your posts – although I haven’t told you for a while!
I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading them and the tips you provide are invaluable to me in my every day life – business or personal.
thank you and look forward to the next one!